Nightmares
by everything-you-never-dreamed
Summary: Hello. My name is Hermione Granger, and this is my soul on paper... Enter the mind of Hermione Granger during her 7th year. A lot has changed.... OOC DMHG
1. Introducing: Hell

**Nightmares**

**Summary: "Hello, my name is Hermione Granger, and this is my soul on paper..." Hermione starts her last year at Hogwarts with secrets and a sudden change in personality. Everyone notices but not everyone accepts... This is her diary. Go into the mind of the brightest witch Hogwarts has ever seen, but be careful, not all her dreams involve butterflies and rainbows like everyone thinks. She has nightmares. Nightmares that plague her every waking--and sleeping-- moment. Is there anyone that can help save her from her self?**

**Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is the plot idea and the occasional made up character. The rest of the characters and everything else belong to J.K. Rowling, with her creative genius totally apparent in every book she has written so far. I just fiddled with the ideas a bit.**

**NOTE: this chapter has 3 entries so that the story starts off right. The next chapters will be one long entry each. I just needed to introduce the story a bit better.**

**Chapter 1:**

**Introducing: Hell**

_July 6_

Hello, my name is Hermione Granger, and this is my soul on paper. I just recieved this journal as a present to myself. Let me tell you a bit about myself.

I am 16, about to turn 17, and a purblooded witch. No one else but you, me, and a few certain teachers know that I am pureblood. Too many secrets would surface if people knew the truth about me. I discovered this while at the orphanage I had been sent to after both my parents were killed. I was told they died in a car accident, truth of the matter is, it was a Death Eater raid. The Death Eaters weren't even looking for them. They wanted me, yet no one will tell me why. I hate the secrets. All I do know is that it is something involving my new found pureblooded-ness.

Even my parents death wasnt the worst part of the summer. I arrived at the orphanage, leaving all my friends behind. I didn't recieve any reply messages from Harry, Ron, or Ginny after I sent them the messages and telling them when my parents funeral was. They can't say they didn't know. Even Lupin and Dumbledore showed up. They just didn't come.

Oh well, I have to go now. Kasey and Leah are here now. Buh bye.

--Hermione--

* * *

_August 31_

Tomorrow I leave for Hogwarts. Oh joy. Remember in my last entry how I had said that they raped us again? Well, it wasn't the last time. Late last night 3 men came into mine, Kasey, and Leah's room. They were all drunk and they... they did it again. Then this morning I found Kasey with her wrists slit. She killed herself. She just couldn't take it. God, I wish I could have stopped her. But somehow I know she is happier now. Leah ran away. She made a break for it leaving only a small letter for me telling her that she would try and find me when she gets on her feet. I'm all alone here now...

Shit, they're coming again...

Write more later... Hopefully...

* * *

They did it again. They did it over and over and over again. I'm in so much pain. They said it was my good bye present, that they were going to miss me. Dammit... I hurt so bad... I'm just happy i went shopping and packed and everything already.

I have to go to sleep now. I'll write tomorrow I swear...

Buh bye.

--Hermione--

**_R&R PLEASE!!! _**


	2. School

**Chapter 2:**

**School**

_September 1_

I left at 8:00 so I could do some quick clothes shopping. I took the remainder of my savings, not counting what I inherited from my parents, and did a bit of a Hot Topic spree. I even changed into a black skirt, fishnet stockings, a black and red stiped halter shirt, and my new sneakers before going over to the train station and after applying a quick concealment charm. I straightened my hair and even did my make up to match the out fit I knew I was going to be wearing. It's perfect for my first day of school. I pin my head girl badge to my shirt when I walk through the platform entrance. I immediately spotted Harry and Ron and avoided their line of vision. I sped on to the train and to the Head Compartment. There was Draco Malfoy, the ass hole, the hottest boy on the planet, the Slytherin Sex God. But I will never ever admit that to anyone but you, Diary. So no telling! lol. He saw me and his mouth dropped.

"Granger?" he asked.

I smile, nod, and say, "Hi Draco." he looks shocked that I actually said his name. His face was priceless...

"Well, you sure as hell changed." he says. I see his eyes sweep over my newly gained womanly figure, emphasized by the tight shirt and skirt.

"I see that I am not the only one." I reply. His nails are black, there's a hint of eyeliner on his eyes, and his hair is now streaked black, like mine.

"Tell me your reason and I'll tell you mine."

"If you agree to a truce and we get to know each other better, maybe I'll tell you." I reply with a smile and sit across from him.

"Fine." he says. "I guess I should start calling you Hermione?"

"That would be much appreciated." Anything to stop him from saying my last name... Anything...

"Hermione," he emphasized my name, "did you get a list of the Head Duties?"

"Shit." I say. I knew I forgot something. They were sitting on my nightstand about to be packed when they came in... "I'm sorry. I forgot mine."

"Ok. Come here." he says and pats the seat next to him while he pulls out a piece of paper. I go over and he hands the list to me. "I already have the perfect idea for the Welcome Back Ball. Would you like to hear?"

"Sure." I accidentally brush my hand on his when I hand him the letter back. I see a hint of a blush creep on to his face.

"Ok, well I was thinking maybe a masquerade. Start a new year completely secretive.It's the perfect way to see how some people changed."

"I like it." I say. I pull out my sketch book. I draw the out line of the Great Hall. I add in decorations and accessories.

"I love it!" he says and takes the tablet out of my hands. "But wait..." he takes his wand and adds color to it.

"Perfect." we say together.

For some reason this makes both of us blush. He hands me back my sketch book. "You can look at the other drawings if you want to." I say to him.

"Really?" he asks. I nod and hand him back my book. He flips through the pages. "Who's that?" he asks suddenly.

I look over his shoulder. I see the vivid blue eyes and the soft smile on the girl's face. I see the way her brown hair falls around her face... "Her name is Kasey."

He notices the poem I wrote at the bottom.

_"Angel with blue eyes_

_Fallen, so tragic_

_Some how I do know_

_That you are better off now._

_You always wanted_

_To spread your wings and fly_

_Now fly away, Angel_

_The sky is yours._

_R.I.P Kasey 1989-2006"_

"Oh. I'm so sorry..."

"No worries." I lie.

"Can I ask what happened?"

Tears come to my eyes. "She killed herself." I say slowly, letting it sink in to me as well as him. "She couldn't take it anymore."

"Couldn't take what?"

The compartment door flies open.

"Hermione?!" an incredulous Harry Potter asks from the door way.

"Hi." I say. "What's up?"

"Why the fuck did you avoid us? Why the fuck are you so close to Malfoy?" he asks.

"Um...You avoided me first, lets not forget that. And I am talking to him. Is that a problem?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes it's a problem. How did we ignore you first?"

"Harry James Potter, you are such a dumb ass." I say flatly. "Thanks for not replying to my letters. I would have probably believed that you hadn't gotten them if Dumbledore and Lupin showed up at their funeral and told me that you guys just didn't want to come."

"Funeral? Oh, your parents? Aren't you over them yet?" he asks.

I stand up and look him straight in the eye. "Get the fuck out." I say cooly. I try to keep my self under control.

"Hermione, it was 3 months ago. Just get over it."

"You are the most hearless self centered fucking bastard I have ever talked to. Get the fuck out."

"You're such a bitch. Your pathetic parents probably deserved to be killed for having a pathetic mudblood like you."

Even Draco's mouth dropped. Harry covered his mouth with his hand.

I lost it. I punched him in the face and he stumbled back.

"Hermione!" he said, clutching his now split lip.

"Don't ever talk to me again. Don't ever come near me again." I said, deathly calm. "Get out."

"But Hermione-"

"Fine." I push him out and magic lock the door.

"Oh." is all Draco says.

"Oh what?"

"That's why you changed."

"Nope, only a smidgen of why I changed involves my parents."

"Can you tell me the rest?" I notice true concern in his eyes.

"Maybe a different time." I say. He raises an eyebrow. "Ok, I'll tell you later." he looks satisfied.

"So, are we going to be public friends now?" he asks after a few moments of silence.

"If you're up to it, then so am I."

"Good. Care to meet a few of my friends?"

"... Um... sure?" I say, my unconfidence showing.

"Don't worry. You'll be a huge hit. Plus, you are friends with me now. Immediate popularity boost there."

"Oh don't be so conceited." I say smiling. He just laughs.

He takes out a cell phone. He dials a number and tells the other person to get their ass here and then hangs up. Soon enough, 4 people arrive. Blaise, Pansy, a girl names Alexis, and a guy named Mike.

Draco introduces me. "This is Hermione. You all know her, but she's really cool despite what we all thought of her. Hell, she even punched Potter in the face. So I think you guys should get to know her."

"Ok, if Draco says you're cool, you must be." Blaise says. I shake his out stretched hand.

We all start talking and goofing around. Suddenly Draco flings one of the pillows at me, I duck and it hits Mike right in the face. We all burst out laughing at the shocked look on Mike's face. He picks up the pillow and goes to hit me but I duck again and it hits Draco.

"Would you stop ducking?!?" Mike and Draco say at the same time.

"Um... no?" I reply. They roll their eyes. I snap my fingers and 2 pillows appear. One keeps hitting Mike, and the other keeps hitting Draco.

"Wait, that's a pureblood trick." Blaise says suddenly.

I wave my hand and the pillows disappear. "Shit." I say quietly.

"Oh. My. God. Hermione... You're pureblooded?" Pansy asks.

"Guys, you cannot, under any circumstances, tell anyone." I say.

"Why not? You'd think you'd be proud." Alexis says.

"My parents got murdered because of me being pureblooded. It has to stay secret. I don't know why, but it just has to. Please, you can't tell anyone." I beg them.

"Ok, we won't." Blaise says.

"I'm sorry about your parents... My father... he said that.." Pansy starts but I cut her off.

"I don't hold any of you responsible for your fathers' or mothers' actions. I will just apologize ahead of time if I wind up seeking revenge."

"No need to apologize. I hate my father anyway." Blaise says. Everyone else agrees with him.

"Even though you said we aren't responsible for their actions, I think I do need to apologize." Draco says finally.

"Why is that?" I ask.

"Because I tried to send you a message to warn you, but my father killed my owl with a spell 'for fun' as he said. I should have apparated but I didn't know what your reaction would be." he says.

"Then you don't need to apologize. You at least tried to help. Plus, I probably would have hexed you the second you appeared in my house..."

"You always were clever." Mike says.

"So are there any dances coming up?" Pansy asks.

"Well..." Draco and I start together.

"Should we tell them the plans?" I ask him.

"I don't know... I think we should wait until Dumbledore announces it." Draco replies.

"Fine. Yes there is a dance coming up. No we will not tell you the theme." Draco and I say together.

"Ok... You guys are really weird." Blaise says, "I don't even finish Draco's sentences and I've known him for almost my whole life."

We arrive at the school and I even sit at the Slytherin table for the feast. I, of course, asked Dumbledore and he said it would be totally ok. Thank god...

We all eat and then Draco asks me if it would be ok if we had a party in the head dorm. I say yes. We had 50 people come up with us. In a snap, the decorations and lights and everything was up, so the party started right away.

"I'll be back down, I wanna change out of my uniform." I say to Draco. He nods.

I go up to my room and look in my closet for something to wear. I finally choose a short black skirt and a low v cut black tank top with a pink line for the emperor waist. It's perfect with my new boots... When I get back downstairs, Draco is waiting for me. His mouth drops. I smile at him.

"You look.. amazing." he says. Then his face turns beet red.

"Thank you, Draco. You look nice yourself."

"Care to dance?" he asks me. I nod and he leads me out to the apparently designated dance area.

_I always wanted to spread my wings and fly away_

_Away from all the pain I now know_

_Yet my wings are broken and bleeding_

_Torn up by you..._

I remember Kasey used to love this song. It was always playing in her CD player...

_I try to fly away from here_

_Yet I can never seem to get off the ground_

_I'm an angel fallen from great heights_

_And yet no one sees me struggling_

I notice Draco looking questioningly at me. My eyes must be giving away my emotions again. Dammit...

"This is her song isn't it?" he asks me quietly. I nod. He hugs me. I don't hug him back, but my body goes rigid. He pulls away. "I think I figured out what happened to you." he says.

"And what would that be?" I ask him. Please don't let him guess right...

"How many times did you get beaten and raped at that fucking orphanage? And by whom so I can go kill them?" he asks.

I look down. "Every night, for two months straight. That's why Kasey killed herself. That's why Leah ran away. That's why I-" I cut off before I tell him anything to terribly bad.

"That's why you what?"

"Nothing. Just... Just forget it."

Blaise comes over before he can question me further.

"Hey guys! What is up?" he asks. His words are slurred. That must mean they spiked the punch...

"Nothing much. Got a bit tipsy I see?" I ask him.

"Just a bit." He replies smiling. "Come on, let's dance. If it's ok with Draco of course..." he adds quickly.

"Go. Have fun. Keep him away from the punch bowl." Draco says to me.

"Aww but it's so good..." Blaise says.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go dance." I say to him.

We danced for a few more songs and then we just go in different directions.

At around 2:30 the last group of people leave the Head Dorm. Draco and I magically clean up.

"I'm going to go to sleep now." I say when we're done.

"Ok. Good night."

"'Night." I say. When I reach the bottom of the stairs I stop. "Oh and Draco?"

"Yes?"

"If you hear me scream, I'm sorry. The silencing charm wears off after a while. I have nightmares..." I say quietly and disappear up the stairs to my room.

I change into a black tank top and a pair of purple pj pants. I remove the concealment charm and all my bruises are suddenly extremely visible. I lay on my bed and take out you, my Diary, and start to write everything I have written up to this point. I really do have to go to sleep now, though. I'm a bit tired...

_xoxo_

_Hermione_

_**Read And Review Please!!!**_


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